A Grand Exception
by mississippimudpiecraves
Summary: Bored with paperwork, Tsunade plays matchmaker to ShikaTema with the aid of Sakura, Ino and Chouji. Tsunade allows the request of an important client to have his Temari look-a-like daughter to be escorted by the one and only Nara Shikamaru for a tour of Konoha.


**A Grand Exception**

 **A/N: My first attempt to keep the sexy scenes on the down low. For those who enjoyed An Anniversary in Shadows, don't worry it won't be the last. Haha. And I will get to thanking every guest that reviewed on my previous stories soon since I can't send you guys a private message. Thank you so much for my readers, reviewers, favorite-rs and followers! I really appreciate each and every one of you! You make this all worthwhile!**

 **Guest 1:** Thanks so much for your nice review! :)

 **Hope you enjoy this!**

Tsunade's vision started to blur out of focus as she continued to stare at the mountain pile of papers on her desk. "Papers, papers, and more papers! Shizune! How many more do I have to sign?!" Tsunade demanded, exasperated, throwing her hands in the air like a petulant child.

"Isn't there anything more exciting in my agenda?"

"Well, not exciting exactly. Interesting letter from an influential daimyo." Shizune replied, frowning at the contents of the letter held on one hand while hugging her pet pig on the other arm.

"What does it say?"

"It says that Koenma-sama of the Densetsu clan requests that his daughter be allowed to tour the hidden village of Konoha on the condition that the one who is assigned as an escort be the one named Nara Shikamaru."

"Huh? Why that brat?"

Shizune giggled. "Apparently his daughter is enamored of the heroic tales she has heard about this epitome of leadership. He must be talking about what Shikamaru did during the great war."

Tsunade hooted out her laughter. "That girl will be disappointed once she meets that lazy brat. Well, I guess, not so lazy now, but still. This is perfect! I've always wanted to teach that kid a lesson since he always mutters "Troublesome" under his breath when I give him specific errands and he thinks I don't notice!"

Worried, Shizune asked, "What are you planning to do, Tsunade-sama? You wouldn't be so cruel as to make poor Shikamaru be stuck with a girl who will most likely be bothersome to him?"

Rubbing her hands with a wicked grin on her face, Tsunade exclaimed, "I do what needs to be done! And what do you mean poor?! He can handle a war, he can handle a silly girl! Besides how can I possibly turn down a request from Koenma-sama when he has provided so much for this village?"

Shizune bit her lip and softly asked, "And what about Temari-san? Have you thought about her feelings?"

Tsunade responded with a twinkle in her eye, "She is exactly the perfect reason for doing this. She's unbearably stubborn and he's plain lazy. I've had enough of those two dancing around each other, denying their feelings all this time. It drives me nuts! Sometimes I just wanna lock those two up in a room until they confess to each other! I bet you a million yen they both dreamed of each other in the infinite tsukuyomi dream."

"…..How will you make sure Temari-san witnesses this escorting?"

Tsunade smirked at Shizune's subtle yielding and told Shizune to have Sakura summoned to her office.

Oooooooooo

"… So the name of the girl you will be escorting is Miho-san." Tsunade explained everything in a business-like manner. And just as she expected with inner glee, Shikamaru had a sour look on his face.

"I'm already an escort to one troublesome woman and now you're adding another one? Can't someone else do it?" Shikamaru complained.

"'Fraid not, brat. Her father asked for you specifically and you know fully well we cannot just easily dismiss their requests."

"But why me? And not someone else in this village who is more suited to this tour guide thing?"

"I have no idea." Tsunade shrugged. "Guess you'll find out soon enough. But hey, don't be so glum! After all, her father is paying you a huge amount to tour her!"

Shikamaru just continued to give her a dull face. Obviously the amount of money wasn't enough to offset the effect of a troublesome woman.

As Shikamaru sullenly dragged his feet to the door to leave, a huge evil grin stole across Tsunade's face as she stuck out her right hand in a victory sign. Shizune just shook her head, smiling, and silently wished Shikamaru the best of luck.

When Shikamaru exited the tower, it suddenly struck him that he wouldn't be able to escort Temari back to the gates tomorrow morning.

Oooooooooo

After her talk with Tsunade-sama, Sakura had an extra spring to her step as she mentally outlined the details of the plan. A grin was stuck on her face and grew larger as she found Ino and Chouji.

"Ok guys, so this is the plan…" Sakura relayed to Ino and Chouji who all wore identical mischievous facial expressions.

"I cannot believe Tsunade-sama herself thought this up!" Ino said as she cracked up. "Not that I would pass up this opportunity either! Those two need some serious push!" Ino smirked as she rubbed her hands. "This is going to be fun!"

Oooooooooo

"Miho-sama, here is the information you asked for about the one named Nara Shikamaru." A dark woman handed an envelope to a young woman dressed in an opulent dress, her hair in curly ringlets, her nails manicured to fine detail.

"Good work, Michiru." Miho opened the envelope and read its contents. "Oh so my darling Shika dreams of wedding an ordinary girl and have two kids. Hmm, well I cannot change my background but I can always change my appearance and mannerism to his liking."

"Is that wise, milady? Don't you think it's better to attract him by being yourself?"

"Love is war, Michiru. You must be prepared to sacrifice to reap its rewards."

Oooooooooo

Temari's frown was telling as she read the note Shikamaru left at her doorstep. Apparently he was given another mission for today so he didn't have the time to escort her back to the gates on her way back to Suna. _He must've left this note pretty early_. The thought of a groggy-eyed, grumpy Shikamaru dropping off the note put a tiny grin on her face.

As she lowered the note, she spotted three people standing in front of her apartment. The confusion she felt must've shown on her face as Sakura stepped forward and greeted her and assured her there was nothing wrong and that they only wanted to escort her to the gates since she knew that Shikamaru couldn't make it.

"You guys don't have to do this." Temari stated, still bemused.

"Oh but we want to! We can't have Konoha's hospitality be questioned! And as Shikamaru's friends, we thought it was only right that we should be his substitutes!" Ino exclaimed, a bright smile on her face.

"Please, Temari-san, allow us to accompany you." Chouji quietly added.

Seeing that there was no way out without being outright rude, Temari shrugged as she stuffed Shikamaru's note into her pocket and started walking onwards. "Suit yourselves."

The three exchanged triumphant grins.

oooooooooo

At the gates, Shikamaru's hands were inside his pockets and his shoulders were slumped as he waited for the VIP to arrive. He yawned.

He wondered if Temari received his note. He left home earlier than he would have for this mission so he could leave that note. _The woman would kill me otherwise. At least this time I won't have to hear her call me crybaby again._

Before he could continue his musings, he saw a pair of women from a distance. One was distinctly covered in all black the way a bodyguard would be dressed. The other was dressed in a pale blue yukata with tiny white flowers smattered all over without a show of jewelry. This was obviously the VIP. He was surprised as he expected them to arrive in a carriage and for this woman to be dressed more extravagantly knowing that she was the daughter of a daimyo. He knew their kind couldn't resist showing off their wealth in any means possible.

As they got closer, Shikamaru's surprise grew. This woman had straight long blonde hair that was contained in two low ponytails draped over her shoulders. Her face devoid of any make up and her nails clean and without color. And her built was curiously familiar as well. _That woman is haunting me._

When the women stopped in front of him, that woman looked straight into his eyes, a pair of blue eyes positively sparkled at him. For some reason, his gut instinct told him to run. But the thought of Tsunade screaming at him made him sigh inwardly and let him face whatever this was.

"You must be Miho-san and Michiru-san. Welcome to Konoha." Shikamaru inclined his head towards her.

"And you must be Shikamaru-san. It is a pleasure to meet you. I have heard many great things about you." She smiled at him, holding out her hand to him.

Caught off guard, it took him a couple of seconds to shake her hand. "You have?" _Why would people like her be talking about me?_

"Yes, it was me who requested for you because I heard about your heroic deeds during the great shinobi war which saved the world from falling into the endless tsukuyomi dream."

"No, that's Naruto."

"Oh yes I've heard of his bravery as well but I was more impressed with the way you led the people. It is an honor to be standing in front of you."

Taken aback, he said, "Is that so?" He noticed that she was still holding his hand. He laughed awkwardly while scratching the back of his head with his free hand, not knowing how to deal with the situation, afraid that he would offend her if he suddenly pulled his hand away.

"I am thrilled that the Godaime has allowed my selfish request to be granted," she softly said, her eyes not wavering from his face.

It clicked. _Tsunade knew! She knew this girl would be troublesome and she still assigned her to me! No, it's exactly why she allowed this mission! Troublesome old lady!_

Oooooooooo

Temari wondered why she jumped after these idiots behind the bushes. She wasn't left wondering for long. "Why the heck—"

"Shhh! Look, it's Shikamaru!" Ino whispered dramatically. Temari jerked her head around to see.

"Who's the pretty girl?" Chouji softly asked, curiosity evident in his tone. Temari narrowed her eyes.

"So that must be the person in his new escort mission." Sakura quietly commented, seemingly in deep thought.

"New escort mission?!" Temari hissed at Sakura. "I thought only one shinobi per visitor was allowed per escorting."

"Well yes, but you were just about to leave for Suna, remember?" Sakura reminded her, restraining the smile that wanted to erupt on her face at Temari's obvious hissy fit.

"Wait, is she holding his hand?!" Ino excitedly whispered, her jaw dropping. "That girl moves fast!"

"What?!" The other three answered. An instant scowl formed on Temari's face. _This was why he couldn't accompany me this morning?_ Her hand found its way to grip her fan hard. _And he dare hold her hand willingly when he has never held mine?_ She abruptly loosened her grip on her fan, shocked at her thoughts. _Why am I so furious at this situation? And why am I crouching out of sight like a missing nin? I knew letting these people come with me would spell trouble!_

oooooooooo

Shikamaru cleared his throat. "So you wanted a guide, right? I'm not really the tour guide type. So um are there specific places that you wanted to visit?"

"Well actually, I was thinking of visiting the places that has meaning for you, if you don't mind," she gently suggested as she finally pulled back her hand to gingerly clasp her hands together to form the perfect picture of a maidenly pose.

Oooooooooo

"She seems the exact opposite of his mother. Gentle and soft spoken. Which is exactly his type of girl," Chouji murmured. Temari felt something sink in her chest.

"She looks familiar though," Sakura curiously muttered.

"She resembles Temari." Ino giggled, finding the resemblance uncanny. Sakura looked to Temari and the girl. "Goodness, you're right. You only need to imagine her with shorter hair."

"She does not look like me one bit," Temari bit off, glaring at the back of Shikamaru's head, unaware that she was doing it. The other three were highly aware of Temari's movements and it was hard to contain their giggles.

oooooooooo

Shikamaru batted at the back of his head, feeling something there. There was nothing. Odd.

When he heard Miho's suggestion, he had to struggle to contain his groan. He didn't need to ask her why. _I didn't think I would ever receive the infamous Sasuke treatment. How did Sasuke endure? Oh, he ignored them. Pity I can't do the same here. This is such a drag. Can't wait til this day is over._

"All right then. Since it's near noon, you must be hungry. I'll take you to the restaurant that my friends and I go to."

"That sounds lovely." Miho said demurely.

He led them towards the barbecue restaurant, Miho at his side while the bodyguard followed them a few meters behind.

 _Lovely. Not a word Temari would ever use._ He snorted. Miho looked at him and asked if anything was the matter in that very absorbed way that made him distinctly uncomfortable, unused to women looking at him like that. What made it strange was that she really did look similar to Temari. He couldn't help comparing the two. He tried to imagine Temari behaving the way this girl was behaving. Temari acting ladylike? The image disturbed him. Temari looking at him like Miho was doing now? For some reason, the idea wasn't completely unwelcome.

oooooooooo

 _Why is he staring at her like that?_ Temari wondered, her eyes glued on the scene.

Ino asked the same thing aloud.

"You don't think he's fallen for her?" Sakura gasped.

"Don't be ridiculous, Sakura baka! He can't have fallen for her in just five minutes!"Ino retorted.

Temari felt her stomach roiling. _Am I having indigestion?_

Alarmed, Chouji tried to hush them down. "Guys, they might hear you…"

The girls continued to argue but in quieter tones.

"Ever heard of love at first sight, Ino baka! Isn't that how you fell for Sasuke?!"

Ino blushed instantly. "Back at you, big forehead! Aren't his looks the only reason you fell for him?!"

At that, Sakura's temper deflated, shifting her gaze back to the two. "That was then. It's different now," she admitted quietly.

Guilt made Ino back down and say, "I'm sorry. Anyway I have Sai now. If anyone deserves Sasuke, it's you." Sakura smiled gratefully at Ino.

After seeing that exchange, Temari remembered the first time she saw Sasuke and thought he was cute. She thought Sasuke was the only boy in Konoha who looked and seemed interesting. That was until… Her gaze returned to the boy they were spying on. Until now, it still got on her nerves that he was able to put her into a position of submission then. And it felt like she was watching him ever since. Don't get me wrong. _I'm only watching him to see that he won't surpass me again. After all, it's rare to see a strategist of my own level even in Suna. And I have to admit, he did an excellent job during the war._

Returning to the scene before her, Temari told herself, _That's right, you see him as an equal in terms of intellect and stratagem. You just need to make sure he doesn't make a fool of himself over love at first sight sh*t. It's your responsibility to make sure that lazy ass doesn't permanently damage his mental capacities over some silly girl. Your undignified crouching behind bushes is completely justified._

Chouji, concerned at how pale Temari was, asked, "Are you feeling ok, Temari-san?"

"Uh I just feel my stomach's a bit weird. It's probably just something I ate this morning."

Ino and Sakura exchanged amused glances.

Oooooooooo

After he assured Miho there was nothing wrong, they entered the restaurant. Shikamaru sat across the two women and asked them what they wanted to order.

"I'll have what you'll order, Shikamaru-san."

 _I expected that_ , he thought with an inward eye roll. _Why do girls feel the need to order the same thing the boy orders to show their interest? I don't think I'll ever understand that._ So he told the waiter to get them his team's usual order minus Chouji's order.

Shikamaru saw that she was waiting for him to start a conversation, her hands folded delicately on top of the table. _Extremely troublesome._ He remembered the times when Temari and him would sit and eat in comfortable silence. And when they did converse he never felt he was obliged to do it and was always secretly pleased whenever he could elicit that boisterous carefree laughter from Temari.

"Um so how is Michiru-san related to you, Miho-san?" Shikamaru attempted to make small talk.

"She has been my bodyguard for years now and I trust her with my life. She is also my childhood friend." Miho-san replied while Michiru-san acknowledged the fact with a nod.

"I am more interested in your life, Shikamaru-san. Do you mind if I ask you some questions?"

 _Not like I can stop you but hey, let's give the appearance that I actually have a choice in this._

"Uh sure."

"Do you have any siblings?"

"No, it's just me."

"Oh that must've been lonely."

"Not really, I have friends."

"Oh may I ask their names?"

"Chouji and Ino who are also my teammates."

"Well, that sounds nice. Seems like fate. What are your hobbies?"

"Sleeping. Watching clouds." Let's see if she's still interested after this.

"Oh, how very carefree and very cute." Miho's face brightened.

 _Damn. I guess expecting her to be disgusted was too much to hope for. Always worked on others. I mean, Temari would always call me a lazy ass whenever she spots me doing those things. Wait, did she just call me cute? Kami help me. I did not intend for that information to delight her._

To his immense relief, their food arrived, cutting off the conversation. He busied himself with putting the meat on the grill while the women excused themselves off to the washroom.

The four were on the other side of the restaurant, hiding behind the wooden side panels, the tops of their heads barely peeping over. Chouji had to ask the restaurant owner to let them sneak in from the back to spy on their friend. The owner merely chuckled, easily conceding since they were his regular customers after all. Plus that Chouji always ordered heaping amounts of meat! His favorite type of customer!

Oooooooooo

Inside the washroom

"Oh, Michiru, he is so adorable!" Miho exclaimed with a dreamy sigh.

Michiru turned to her mistress with an incredulous look. She thought the boy completely indifferent and uninterested but she had to admit that he was probably trying his best to accommodate his mistress's requests. So she decided to keep quiet about that. Instead she informed her mistress about something else. "Milady, there are four people following us."

"What?! Why didn't you tell me earlier?" For once displaying the temper she actually possessed.

"Well, I didn't want to ruin your fun plus they didn't give off any dangerous vibes. Although there is one that was giving off a weird vibe. But I'm not sure what to make of her because it feels like a whirlwind of emotions. It's probably nothing but I'll keep a close eye on her."

"A 'her', you say? A woman. You don't think she's a fan of his?! What does she look like?! What do the others look like?! Are they all his admirers?!" Miho demanded with determined eyes, sensing a rival.

"Well the other three are two females and one male. The male is a chubby one, the females are both slim, one blonde and the other pink-haired. And the weird woman has short blonde hair who has a striking resemblance… to you." Michiru remarked amusedly.

"To me?" Miho repeated with an affronted look. Clearly the idea that someone looked like her didn't agree with her. After all, from where she came from, her beauty met no competition. Which was why she was certain she could gain Shikamaru's affections in no time.

Michiru was enjoying her mistress's expression. Although she loved her friend, she thought she needed a reality check every now and then.

"Well, as long as she keeps her distance," Miho huffed, still miffed. "Anyway let's get back. It's time to start making the moves."

Michiru just rolled her eyes to the ceiling.

Oooooooooo

When they returned to their table, the meat was already cooked and served onto their plates.

"How very kind of you, Shikamaru-san!"Miho praised him sweetly.

"It's nothing. Shall we eat?" he invited.

While they ate, Miho waited for openings.

As soon as she spotted a dab of sauce on his cheek, she went for it like a snake darting forth to its prey. Since Shikamaru was so intent on eating as to avoid further conversation, the poor boy never saw it coming. The tissue pressed on his cheek and he froze, a piece of meat between his lips.

Somewhere across the room, the sound of cracked wood resounded. Temari dropped down and blankly stared at her right hand full of splinters, bleeding. A feeling of dissociation occurred within her. It's as if this hand didn't belong to her. Sakura gasped and immediately performed some first aid and wrapped a bandage around her hand. Ino bit her lip to stop from smiling. Chouji quickly went back to watching to see what Shikamaru would do.

While Miho spent a few seconds too long wiping his cheek, Shikamaru held his breath and internally struggled. His first instinct was to pull away but once again, his common sense told him to stay still. His conscience reminded him of her status and of his mission. That same conscience forced him to grit out the word, "Thanks."

Miho beamed. "It was my pleasure," she replied, a soft purr in her tone. He couldn't help the slight wince of his body at the flirtatious note.

Michiru glanced at the right side of the restaurant, eyebrows furrowed.

"You ok, Temari?" Ino asked softly.

"Yes. It's just a scratch," Temari mumbled. "I don't even know why I did that. That was dumb." That was completely humiliating. What in the world was wrong with her? Who was this clumsy buffoon?

"Guys, I think she's trying to feed him," Chouji said in disbelief. The three jerked their heads to see just that.

Having learned his lesson, Shikamaru kept a discreet eye on her. But nothing could stop Miho from directing her chopsticks towards Shikamaru's mouth. Having anticipated that move, he purposely looked down and avoided her eyes and shoved a handful of rice into his mouth, making his cheeks bulge out comically.

Michiru started to giggle but caught herself and coughed instead.

Sakura was giggling, "He won't be able to avoid that for long. She looks determined."

To their surprise, Temari grabbed Chouji's arm with her uninjured hand and ordered, "Help him."

Chouji's eyes widened. "How?"

"Do what you always do, Chouji. Steal that meat," Ino interjected with a smirk and she shoved Chouji forward.

Gathering his resolve, Chouji ran forward, pushed Shikamaru to the side and clamped his mouth onto Miho's offering. Startled, Miho shrieked and dropped the chopsticks. Michiru clamped her hand over her mouth to prevent herself from laughing. With widened eyes and a sprawled form, Shikamaru blurted out, "Chouji?!" He had never been so glad to see his bestfriend.

The three girls behind the panel guffawed.

Miho was just about to show her true colors and was ready to clout the boy on the head for interrupting her move on Shikamaru when she saw that Shikamaru recognized the boy. "Shikamaru-san, you know this person?" she asked in a piteous voice as if she was the victim.

"Uh yeah, he's my best friend." Unintentionally ignoring Miho, Shikamaru was still staring at Chouji who was flushing in embarrassment. He wondered what Chouji was doing here but didn't dare question such a blessing. Suddenly he had an excellent idea. "I told him to come here. After all, you were interested about my life, right? Well I thought introducing you to my best friend was something you might like. Uh, stealing meat from other people is kind of a hobby of his since that's his favorite food. I hope you weren't too shocked. Chouji, you should be ashamed." He kicked Chouji to respond and support his speech.

"Uh yeah, sorry, miss. I wasn't thinking when I saw the meat. And the next thing I knew, it was in my mouth." Chouji assumed the pose of a sufficiently reprimanded kid, his head hung.

Miho was uncertain how to react. Some chubby boy just ate the meat from her chopsticks which was supposed to be for her Shikamaru! His drool was all over her chospticks! How revolting! She wanted to strangle the boy! But she knew she couldn't. Instead she smoothly said, "It's fine. No harm done." She even attempted a charming smile.

To everyone's surprise, Michiru spoke up, "Shikamaru-san, you mentioned Chouji-san and another friend's name before. Ino-san was it? What does she look like?"

Miho threw her a 'what are you doing?' look. Confused, Shikamaru replied anyway, "Hm, well she has long blonde hair and a normal build, I suppose..."

Michiru simply said, "Ah I see." And didn't speak again but her eyes kept darting to the right side of the restaurant. _So who are the remaining two?_

"Well, Chouji and I will just pay the bill at the counter while you girls finish eating." Ignoring his unsatisfied stomach, he practically pushed Chouji and dragged him to the counter.

"Thanks for saving me but what are you doing here, Chouji?" Shikamaru whispered to him, his eyebrow raised.

Quickly thinking, Chouji replied defensively, "What else? I was here to eat my usual when I saw you with two pretty girls! You are so unfair! How come you never bring me along for the fun stuff?!"

Shikamaru sighed. "It's not what you think. Did you really think I would go on a date? This is an escort mission." He added, muttering, "A really troublesome one."

"I heard that. Why is that?"

"It appears the blonde one is infatuated with me." This said in a flat voice.

"I really don't understand you. A pretty girl likes you and you don't even care! Any other guy would be interested!"

"Tch. You can have her."

"As if she would go for me. But you know something, that girl really looks like Temari, don't you think?"

"I noticed. So what?"

"Soooo... did you find yourself comparing the two? And found yourself longing for Temari's company?" Chouji mischievously asked with a smirk.

Shikamaru turned his face away from his friend as he felt the heat on his cheeks as he mumbled, "Tch what nonsense are you babbling about. I don't even have time to think of anything else because the girl expects me to keep up an endless conversation!"

Chouji chuckled. "You liar."

Oooooooooo

"So what was that about, Michiru?"

"I concluded that Chouji and Ino are two of the four people following us."

"Really. Excellent job, Michiru. Now why would his best friends be following us?"

"They're probably just curious about you."

That made Miho smirk. "Of course. Who wouldn't be?"

Ooooooooo

Shikamaru made Chouji tag along for the escort mission as they led the women to the next spot. Shikamaru decided to show them the battle arena for the chuunin exams. He figured he might as well show them something tourist-like.

As they stood in the middle of the arena, Shikamaru briefly explained that this was where the final battles were held for those who wanted to be promoted to chuunin level. Chouji asked them if they wanted to hear about Shikamaru's battle despite the warning look on Shikamaru's face. Miho excitedly responded an affirmative.

"Shikamaru fought this girl from the sand village named Temari. From the start, it was obvious that this girl was one of the strongest contenders in the competition. When the battle began, she blasted a ferocious wind from her giant fan, trying to disarm Shikamaru immediately. Shikamaru took cover behind the trees and hid among the huge shadow curve at one side of the arena. As you know, Shikamaru's power is shadow bind. So he used the shadows surrounding him to try and get to her but Temari knew what was coming and avoided it by moving backwards and marking the extent of his shadow's length. As the shadows became larger due to the setting of the sun, his shadow's length respectively got longer. But Temari took all of that into account and continued to avoid his advances. Then Shikamaru did this trick, using his jacket and kunai to form a parachute to lengthen his shadow even more. Which actually almost got Temari if her brother didn't shout out a warning so she barely dodged that one. And when it looked like Temari decided to finish him before the shadow curve got even bigger, he managed to bind her from behind! Apparently during the previous battle, there were two connected holes made and he took advantage of that. Temari never saw it coming."

Miho clapped her hands loudly and laid her hand on Shikamaru's arm, fluttering her eye lashes. "I knew you would win."

Shikamaru shook his head and said, "Actually I didn't. Chouji, won't you finish the story?"

"When he binded Temari, he made her walk closer to him. Everyone anticipated that he would finish her but instead he gave up. Said he had no energy left to finish it. So technically, the winner is Temari."

"You were just being a gentleman, of course. There was no way you would hit a girl," Miho defended him. "Don't you think, Chouji-san?"

"What do I think? He was being himself. He was and always is lazy." Chouji shrugged.

Outraged, Miho retorted, "And you call yourself his best friend?!"

Shikamaru laughed aloud. "No, he's right, Miho-san. He knows me best."

"B-but.." she sputtered.

Once again, Michiru suddenly spoke up, "This Temari, what does she look like?"

Chouji was the one who answered this time, "She has short blonde hair which she usually wears in four short pigtails. Actually, you remind me of her, Miho-san."

Miho and Michiru exchanged glances. "Ah is that so, Chouji-san?" Miho laughed awkwardly. _So Temari is the name of the weird fan girl following us. And they fought each other before? What exactly is their relationship? Why should I worry? My dear Shika never even showed any indication that he liked her._

"What do you think of this girl, Shikamaru-san?" Miho asked quietly, her eyes intently gazing on his face, watching for any signs that might show his interest.

"Huh? She's... a troublesome woman."

Miho sighed in relief and grinned to herself. _I knew I had nothing to worry about._

Chouji smiled cheekily and Shikamaru rolled his eyes. Michiru caught that exchange and kept the information to herself.

When they all started to head outside the arena, Miho whispered something to Michiru. Michiru nodded reluctantly, barely repressing the rolling of her eyes.

When they exited the arena, Miho caught Shikamaru's attention and asked him a few historical questions about the arena. When Miho raised her shoulder as a signal to Michiru, Michiru pretended to stumble and pushed Miho onto Shikamaru. Caught unawares, Shikamaru still managed to hold onto Miho as he fell backwards with Miho on top of him. Miho smirked, her face pressed against his shoulder and she made sure everything else was pressed nicely against his frame. She pretended to moan in pain and as per Miho's command, Michiru suggested that they stay still for a few minutes because her mistress's constitution is very delicate.

Shikamaru was seeing stars from the fall so he couldn't have moved if his life depended on it. He also had trouble breathing as Miho's elbows were digging into his chest. Plus the girl wasn't a lightweight by any means. He wondered what in the world did he do to deserve this misery.

"That girl is going all out, isn't she," Sakura commented, snickering.

"Temari… That hurts…." Ino moaned as Temari realized that she was holding Ino's shoulders in a vice grip. "Ah sorry, Ino." Temari said sheepishly as she let go. Another look at the scene made her feel like wanting to rip that girl's hair out.

Michiru felt a burning, threatening vibe from the bushes nearby and wondered if her mistress was in danger. She moved to step in front of her mistress when all of a sudden, a long blonde haired woman stumbled out of the bushes and shouted, "Chouji, Shikamaru! How come you guys didn't even invite me to this party! Hey what's going on here?"

While Michiru gave her an uncertain stare, she explained about the accident.

"Oh let me take care of her! I'm a medical nin after all. Ino, at your service!" Ino promptly pushed Miho off Shikamaru without any care whatsoever, ignoring Shikamaru's suspicious stare. Miho threw her a furious glare and Ino ignored that too. She scanned over Miho's body and proclaimed there's no damage and that she should be able to walk on her own perfectly well.

"Oh but I still feel a bit faint," Miho moaned pathetically.

"Well, I expected Shikamaru to be the one who would be hurt but if you feel that way, I can lend you a shoulder to lean on," Ino replied, a challenging glint in her eyes.

Miho glanced towards Shikamaru and saw that he was chatting with Chouji and definitely had no intention of offering his shoulder. Ino also looked to see that Shikamaru was occupied. She chose the moment to tell Miho with a hard stare, "I know your game girl, and don't think you'll get away with it."

Miho understood the threat immediately and answered acidly, "Who do you think you're talking to? And anyway, you're just the best friend. What do you care who he falls in love with?! Are you in love with him too?!"

"Wha-? You think I'm in love with—" Ino convulsed in laughter which drew Shikamaru's and Chouji's attention. "Trust me, Miho-san, it's not like that at all. But I'll be darned if I allow you to continue... your games."

Miho harrumphed and walked over to Shikamaru to ask where they will be going next.

With Ino in tow she deflected every move that Miho attempted on Shikamaru. Once Miho tried to wipe the sweat from Shikamaru's forehead, Ino elbowed her out of the way. Another time, Miho tried to grab his arm and Ino tripped her. Michiru saved her mistress from falling both times.

Pretending to be unaware of the ongoing battle, Shikamaru continued to show them other places such as training grounds and monuments and such until he hoped the two women were getting tired. He got his wish as Miho suggested they retire as they knew the sun would set in an hour.

"I wanted to thank you for your hospitality, Shikamaru-san," Miho told him. And as if in slow motion, Miho went on her toes and tried to kiss his cheek. Before Ino could do anything, Shikamaru was the one who backed up. "Um it was really no problem, Miho-san. Should I escort you to the gates?"

Behind the bushes, Sakura had to hold back Temari's hand which held a kunai.

"There's no need to be shy, Shikamaru-san. It's just a kiss after all."

Sakura had to double her restraining force on Temari.

"I'm sure any man would love to receive your kiss but I'm afraid in our village, we take shows of affection very seriously. We're ninjas. Shows of affection don't become us. I hope you understand."

"Oh, well that's really sad," Miho's eyes reflected her disappointment. "Perhaps I'll see you again?"

"Perhaps."

Miho smiled brightly at that and said, "Shikamaru-san, it really is a pleasure to have met you. There's no need to escort us back to the gates, it's just a few meters ahead anyway. You go on and have your rest. I know you love your sleep."

Those words of consideration actually moved Shikamaru into giving her a genuine smile. Miho almost melted in her shoes. She then waved and went on ahead, Michiru followed after giving Shikamaru a bow.

After the two women started to disappear, Shikamaru sighed aloud and said, "Finally, that was a long day! Hey guys, thanks for tagging along. I don't know how I could've made it without you guys."

Chouji and Ino grinned in full understanding. Ino cheekily said, "She sure was something! Didn't think anyone would fancy you like that, huh!" She laughed freely. "How about those moves she made?"

"Tch. Just glad it's over. Let's not talk about it ever," Shikamaru grumbled. "Anyway guys, I will take her advice and head on over to my hill and sleep. See you guys tomorrow!"

"See ya!" Chouji and Ino waved at him. As soon as they saw him disappear, they went over to the bushes and became face to face with Sakura.

"Huh, where'd Temari go, Sakura?" Ino questioned.

"Where else?" Sakura pointed to the direction that Shikamaru headed off to.

"Guess our work's done," Chouji stated.

Ino squirmed as if wanting to say something.

"No, Ino, we are not going to spy on them. We've done what we could. Tsunade-sama can't complain. Let them have their privacy. And pray they finally get together," Sakura firmly said.

Ino sighed in defeat. "I know."

Oooooooooo

Temari had no idea why she was still hiding behind the tree. Well, at least it wasn't bushes this time. She didn't understand why she didn't just go over to Shikamaru resting on his hill and call him a lazy ass as usual. Why in the world was she acting like some wishy washy stalker? Did it have anything to do with what happened today? _I only did those things to protect him. He has more to offer this shinobi union with that brain of his and being leg-shackled to some silly girl will definitely hinder any contributions that he would've done. And she was definitely a silly girl going by all those silly moves that she thinks will catch her a man. Pssh. Girls like her waste so much potential._

Then at the corner of her eye, she sensed a movement a few meters from Shikamaru's direction. To her astonishment, that Miho girl was slowly creeping up on Shikamaru's sleeping form.

"So, what will you do, Temari-san?" A voice suddenly sounded to her left. Temari whirled around and held out her fan. "Hey easy, I'm not here to fight you and before you ask, Chouji-san described you so that's how I recognized you," Michiru said, chuckling, holding her hands up.

Temari was irritated that she didn't notice this person sneaking up on her. Was she really that deep in her thoughts? "Then what do you want?"

Michiru smiled and said, "We both know Shikamaru-san is not interested in Miho."

"Isn't he?"

"I think you know the answer better than I." To which Temari put on a carefully blank face.

 _Ah, this person is either in denial or just very good at hiding her feelings. No wonder they aren't together yet_ , Michiru thought amusedly. "I just don't want my mistress to be hurt needlessly so won't you do something to stop her?"

"I don't do charity cases."

"Ah well then, won't you do it for him instead?"

Temari threw her a calculating look. Michiru merely smiled and inclined her heads towards the hill.

When Miho went onto her knees and bent her head to his, her breath fanning over his face, his eyes fluttered open and he whispered drowsily, "Temari?"

Miho froze as her heart sank. Suddenly, a huge gust of wind swept over her and Shikamaru, flinging them to different directions. Temari walked over to Miho, incensed.

"Are you really that desperate, girl? To accost a man in his sleep? Don't you have any pride or dignity as a woman? Why don't you just give up?" Temari icily told Miho. Miho instantly recognized her and glared. "Never. It's not as if he has a girlfriend, does he? Am I supposed to believe you're his girlfriend? You brawny, brash bitch? There's no way you're his type. Don't make me laugh."

Rage made her grit her teeth and hiss, "Am I supposed to believe you're a prime example of manners and etiquette? Remember you asked for this." She stomped over to Shikamaru who was blinking blankly at the two of them, obviously still in the throes of sleep. When Temari dropped to her knees in front of Shikamaru, his eyes cleared with a sense of recognition. "Temari, what are you—"

Holding onto his shoulders, Temari pressed her mouth to his. She heard Miho screeching but it soon faded as she felt Shikamaru respond to her kiss. A tingling sensation crept up her spine as his hands delved into her hair, pulling her head closer. Her hands slipped down to his chest and clutched onto his vest. When Shikamaru moved to deepen the kiss, Temari broke away.

They stared at each other, his hands still in her hair, hers on his chest, their hot spurts of breath mingling.

The moment was shattered when Temari crawled backwards like a crab, looked around to see an empty clearing, clapped her hands together once and announced, "You're welcome, lazy ass!"

"Huh?"

"I got rid of your troublesome admirer who almost took advantage of you here because of your lazy habits!"

"Ah."

"You know you could show some thanks."

"I was but you stopped me."

Temari glared at him which made him chuckle and say, "I was kidding. Thank you, Temari, for saving my ass once again."

Temari let out a 'hmph' and declared, "Well, I'm heading back to Suna. I wasted a whole day as it is."

"Why didn't you leave this morning like you were supposed to?"

"Ah… That is… Souvenirs! I forgot to buy my brothers some souvenirs!"

Lips twitching, Shikamaru asked in an innocent tone, "May I see them?"

"Oh no! They're nothing special!" she exclaimed while shaking her head.

"Oh? Then I wonder why it took you the whole day to buy them."

"Well you know us girls and shopping." Temari shrugged.

"Girls in general, yes. But you don't fit that category."

"What are you saying?" This said in a low dangerous tone.

He quickly said, "Nothing! I just meant that you're the type to get things done speedily and efficiently."

"Well of course I have moments when I want to take my time."

"Right. Well then I'll take you back to the gates."

"No need. You're not my escort today."

"On the contrary, Tsunade made it clear that while you're in Konoha, you're my responsibility."

"Responsibility, huh. Shove off." She turned on her heel and walked on.

"Are you acting crabby coz I escorted some other girl? She was just a mission." That made her stop in her tracks and face him again.

"Do I look I give a damn whom else you escort? This might come as a shock to you but I don't spend the rest of my time wondering who else you spend your time with while not escorting me." She turned and started marching off again while Shikamaru followed.

"She was a daughter of a daimyo of great influence. Tsunade said we couldn't turn her down."

"As I said I don't care."

"She chose me because she was infatuated with me. She kept throwing herself at me the whole day as you well know."

"How the heck should I know?"

"Did you really think I couldn't sense the four of you following us the whole day?"

Temari stopped and slowly turned to see Shikamaru with his eyebrow raised and arms folded over his chest.

He added, "That Michiru was well aware of you guys too. If she, a non ninja could sense you guys, what more I? Seriously, were you guys even trying to mask your chakras?"

Embarrassed but not willing to admit her foolishness, she retorted, "Those three dragged me, ok? I just thought it would be fun to see you make a fool of yourself trying to become a proper tour guide."

"Did you even wonder why those three involved you in this?"

"No. Why, you think they were up to something?"

"It was obviously a sad attempt at matchmaking."

She merely raised her eyebrows, unimpressed at his conclusion.

"If Sakura was involved, then Tsunade is obviously the mastermind."

"Wait, are you trying to say that Tsunade is setting us up?"

"I wouldn't put it past her. The woman's always been meddling and manipulative. I should've known something was up when she was unusually nonchalant while explaining the mission."

"That's ridiculous! That would mean she thinks we have feelings for each other!"

"Seems like it."

Silence.

"Well the joke's on them! We both agree that their meddling is completely unnecessary seeing as no such feelings exist!"

"…Temari, why'd you strike with your fan earlier?"

"Isn't it obvious? You couldn't protect yourself from the witch so I did it for you."

"Ok then, tell me this. That Miho is definitely the type of girl I planned to marry but why is it my eyes kept playing tricks on me?"

"How?"

"Her blue eyes kept flashing to green and her hair to short pigtails. Did you place a genjutsu on me?"

"Are you insane? Why the hell would I do that?"

"Perhaps for the real reason you struck out with your fan?"

"I might be known for my aggressiveness but I'd never stoop so low or reek of such desperation. I thought you'd know me better than that! And why do you keep implying that I struck out with my fan as if I was some sort of jealous lunatic?!"

"Perhaps because I want you to be."

"What?!"

"Jealous, that is."

"Why you arrogant little…"

"Why are you fighting this, Temari? Aren't you tired of denying it? God knows I am."

"… I've had enough of this nonsense." She turned to walk off again but Shikamaru grabbed her left hand and confessed, "All day, I foolishly wished it was you throwing herself at me even though I knew it was impossible. I kept wanting to hear your laughter and sarcasm and calling me names. Knowing you were nearby the whole time made it worse. And the war, Asuma-sensei, and Dad taught me how precious time is and to show the people who are important to me how I feel about them. This mission just made it clear that you're the only troublesome woman I would be willing to escort indefinitely." And she could see the stark sincerity in his eyes.

"...I wanted to tear her hair out. Actually, no, I wanted to do worse."

"I know. I could sense you. And I expected nothing less. I'm surprised you restrained yourself earlier."

"What now?"

He tipped her chin up with his fingers and laid a soft lingering kiss on her lips.

Smirking as she looped her arms around his neck, she whispered against his lips, "Whatever happened to 'shows of affection don't become us'?"

"I think Tsunade will consider this a grand exception."

Oooooooooo

At the gates

"Shikamaru-sama!" Miho sobbed. "Why would you prefer such a brute over me?!" she wailed.

"Milady, I think you were lucky to get away coz I just remembered why the name Temari sounded so familiar." Michiru said thoughtfully.

"What?"

"I do believe she is the Kazekage's sister."

Miho turned pale. "She's that Temari? Goodness, she could've killed me."

"Indeed."

"...I think it's time we go home. I believe I have a long list of suitors to go through."

"Yes, milady."

Oooooooooo

"Tsunade-sama, this present is for you. There's no card though," Shizune pointed out.

Tsunade took it. It was obviously a bottle by the looks of it. She unwrapped it and stared. And stared some more. The she started cracking up. Puzzled, Shizune walked around the desk and took a look at what was tickling Tsunade's funny bone.

The bottle read 'Suna's Finest Sake'.

oooooooooo

The next day, he found the trio at the barbecue restaurant. Their heads popped up from their bowls when he unceremoniously dropped the items on their table.

"Hey guys. I saw these things and wanted to take them off my hands. Mind having them? Ok? Have to go!" And just as he came abruptly, Shikamaru strolled back out in the same manner.

The three took note of a pink hairband, a purple hair clip, and a booklet of coupons for snacks. Sakura gently clasped the hairband and said, "Shikamaru has a surprisingly nice eye for fashion."

Ino snatched the hair clip and beamed. "If this is how couples show their thanks for their matchmakers, let's go pair up more people!"

Chouji clutched the booklet while continuously shoving yakiniku into his mouth, nodding vigorously.

oooooooooo

As they made their way to the gates, Temari suddenly paused and looked at him suspiciously. "If you could sense me the whole day yesterday, does that mean you were aware of me while you were sleeping on your hill? Were you even sleeping?" Then she gasped and pointed an accusing finger at him. "You knew Miho was there! And you almost let her kiss you!" When she was just about to reach for her fan to strike him, Shikamaru quickly gripped her wrists and defended himself, "I knew you would do something and you know I wouldn't be able to hit a girl, much less an important client." He let her go as she stopped struggling against him but still looked at him with distrust.

To distract her, Shikamaru carefully took hold of her bandaged hand. "About this…"

Remembering the cause of that made her flustered, Temari hastened to explain, "It was a kitchen accident."

"Hasn't anyone told you it's not nice to lie?" he rebuked softly with a hint of a smile.

"I'm not lying!" Her pride prodded her to say. There is no way he knows, she thought, fidgeting.

"Did you have to pay the restaurant owner for the damages?" he asked with a smirk.

Damn. She glared. "How did you know that?" she demanded.

"Easy. When Miho wiped my cheek, the sound of wood cracking and the whiff of blood permeated the air."

"It could have been anyone."

"At that precise moment? The chances of it being just anyone was slim to none."

"I was just outraged that there are girls who could be so forward upon first meeting…It was on behalf of the principles of the female population…" She trailed off as he shook his head.

"If another guy had done that to you, I might've actually done something to him."

"You would?" She looked at him in wonder.

"But then again, that would probably be too troublesome."

She scowled.

"But I've always known you to be a troublesome woman. Now that you're my troublesome woman, it stands to say that I will be expecting more troublesome encounters."

"You just said troublesome four times in the past minute."

"Surely an indication for our future."

"That's not funny. In fact, you're starting to irritate me."

"What I meant was I will be looking forward to those troublesome encounters as long as you remain my troublesome woman."

Lips twitching in amusement, she answered silkily, "So long as you keep me… satisfied."

Placing his hands on her hips, he fired back, "Oh I'm sure I'm the only one capable of keeping you satisfied."

She smirked while sliding her hands up his chest. "Well, aren't you cocky."

As he bent his head to kiss her ear, he murmured, "In more ways than you can imagine."

She threw her head back and her boisterous carefree laughter echoed through the forest.

 **THE END**

 **A/N: Still here? Congrats! This is my longest story by far. Phew. How is it? Please review?**


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